Praying

I've never been very good at praying. I hate praying in front of people. When I pray at night, I always wonder if God is even listening, or whatever. So I looked online to see if there were tips on how to say a good prayer. Then I found this poem. It didn't say who wrote it, but I LOVE it!!!

Teach Me How to Pray
Author Unknown

Please teach me, Lord...
I want to know
Exactly how to pray.
I need some words
Which ones are right?
Please tell me what to say.

I've bowed my head
I have knelt down,
But...should I be upright?
I've closed my eyes,
I've raised my hands,
Or...should I fold them tight?

Do I stand up?
Should I sit down?
Dear Lord...what do you like?
Are lights turned on
Or are they off?
Maybe...candle light?

Wear my glasses?
Take them off?
Be at my desk or table?
Should I whisper?
Speak out loud?
Do I quote the Bible?

What do you think
About the time?
Do You prefer the dawn?
Should I pray fast,
Or keep it slow?
Better short...or long?

I'm new at this
What are the rules?
I want to do it right.
How do I know
You'll even hear
That I am in Your sight?

And while I sat there quietly,
Waiting for some sign,
I heard a gentle voice say,
"Oh, dearest child of mine...
Do you think I really care
About the time of day,
Or whether you are standing up,
Or kneeling when you pray?

I don't care about your posture,
Or about the place you choose;
Just open up your soul to me,
I have no other rules.
Tell me what is in your heart,
And tell me what you seek;
Tell me of your sorrows,
And of those things that made you weak.

Speak to me in private
About what concerns you most;
I know about your good deeds...
You have no need to boast.
My child, you don't need lessons,
Just talk to me each day;
Tell me anything you want, dear child,

Anyone can pray.

Really Emotional Post--- sorry!

These last couple of weeks have been a learning experience for me. I have read so many good things. I am loving the reading of good stuff. The way I look at things now are so different. I love it. I have had a few questions I've always wondered about answered for me.




The last 2 weeks I have really struggled a lot. Some of you know I was dating this really awesome guy, for a little over 2 months(we've known each other for forever). And when he had bad days, I had bad days. That's just the way we were. Anyways, so he went home to visit his family and when he came back, just totally ignored me, wanted nothing to do with me. I knew something was up. I tried being patient. For 2 whole weeks, I put up with it. I came home from work and when I'd go to bed, I read my scriptures, then pray. There were a couple of nights where as soon as I started praying I started sobbing. It was so hard, because I honestly was getting the same answer that my "man toy." We just weren't meant to be! But I didn't want to end it at all. He is such an awesome guy! And I didn't want to accept Gods answer, but I knew in my heart what was suppose to be. Anyways, so I struggled with that and the fact that he was totally ignoring me. Because he didn't want to hurt me, but he was hurting me more by waiting to talk to me.
But once we got it all out in the open and talked about everything, it ended really good. I mean, I'm always going to like him, I'm sure I will always have a little crush on him. But I honestly have nothing bad to say about him. I have prayed my heart out that if we ended that it would go smoothly and there wouldn't be bitterness. My prayer was answered. I really think we will stay good friends and support each other in different things in each others lives. He really is a good person and I honestly respect him and I hope for the best in his life.
My only regret is we never got a picture of the two of us! :( Darn it! He really is a good lookin' guy!
Anyways, so everything I have gone through for the last 2 weeks, I just have to thank my Father in Heaven for all his support and love. I'm on His time-line, whatever He has planned for me, will happen when He knows I am ready. I honestly have to say God is becoming one of my best friends!
Oh, then I have to say thank you to all of my wonderful friends(you know who you are) for putting up with me the last few weeks. And my mom, holy cow, she should never have been through what I've put her through, she didn't deserve it! Hopefully the next guy I date will be even more amazing than this last one, which will be pretty hard to top! :)

So THIS is where we get our weirdness!!! I copied this off of facebook so I could print it for my mom. This is my uncle Jerrol, aunt Jeanie and grandpa Jack.



So I have no idea what to write. I get on my blog to see whose updated theirs, and then I think I need to update, but I have nothing exciting to write about.

I have been reading several church books. I am loving them. I've been reading the Eternal Marriage Student Manual(institute), just because I already had it. No, I am not getting married yet. But it is so good. There are things in there that go outside of the marriage topic and I love it. I have to say I have been getting through it faster than the "Church history in the Fullness of Times" manual. Which is also a good book. Maybe one of these days I just might take an institute class.

One of my favorite quotes that I have read so far since starting this temple preparation is - "Spiritual peace is not to be found in race or culture or nationality, but rather through our commitment to God and to the covenants and ordinances of the gospel"(May 1995 Ensign pg 63- Heirs to the Kingdom of God- James E.Faust) I love that for some reason, it reminds me that you don't have to have a higher upper calling or have served a mission to get that peace, all you need is your commitment to God and the gospel. I have it saved on my phone so I can read it whenever I need it. Then I save certain scriptures on my phone so if I happen to go over to the temple to read my scriptures and I can't decide where to start. I just look at phone to see what I happen to be reading about in other books.
It's been a fun little journey. I feel like I'm not just wandering anymore because I have something to work towards.
The other day Madison asked me when I was getting married, just to throw out some random answer I said 6 months(not serious), then Emily asked me if somebody were to ask me to marry him "today" would I say yes? I kinda had a hard time answering that. I am crazy about him, I would like to say heck ya, but I need to get to know him just a little better! I guess marriage scares the crap out of me! I want it, but do I REALLY want it??? Only time will tell! :)